I had to waste my VALUABLE time making this STUPID website
because Dave Doeren keeps losing.

"Maybe this year will be different!" I tell myself, because I am an absolute moron.
It's been FOURTEEN YEARS. Every August I conjure up misplaced hope only to face the dick-punt of inevitable disappointment.
Every season starts with “maybe this is the year” and ends with me googling buyout clauses like a divorced dad on Zillow.

14 years of:

• A Losing Conference Record (51-56)
• A Losing Record in Bowl Games (4-6)
• Zero ACC Championship Appearances
• Zero 10-win Seasons

Do you know what lasted less than 14 years?

• The entire Apollo moon program
• Mapping the human genome
• Building Mount Rushmore
• The entire Confederacy (roll tide)

But all of those achievements pale when compared to the nut-smashing persistence of being an NC State fan.
If mediocrity were cocaine, this program would have killed Scarface.

"But wait! NC State has had some good years!"
No shit, NC State football is what happens when edging becomes an athletic department strategy.
The bottom line is Doeren has the most conference losses of any head coach in NC State HISTORY.
(Does that make him the losingest coach? Some people are saying yes.)