HOW TO COPE WITH ANOTHER NC STATE LOSS
So NC State inevitably lost again, and most likely on the national stage. Whether through idiotic play-calling or pure unathletic execution we've returned to the familiar territory of welcoming a new L to the column.
Fear not packmates! This is a common occurrence with many solutions. Below I will outline how to cope with this latest blunder.
#1) Drink yourself stupid like the asshole you are
It's basic knowledge that all NC State fans are alcoholics. There is no universe that this fanbase could cope with NC State Shit whilst being sober.
Embrace your inner lush. Beer is fine but liquor truly is quicker.
If the night ends and you're not spamming emails to Boo Corrigan then by God you're not trying hard enough.
Drink until you vomit? No worries, your output is likely better than whatever the fuck Doeren put onto the field today.
#2) Tell yourself NC State will inevitably get 7 or 8 wins
Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother - NC State WILL be mediocre.
Don't question it. As if by some celestial birthright or divine intervention the ramrod of mediocrity will find us.
The biggest victories happen when no one is watching, so don't miss the games on the CW or QVC channel, that's where true fans get the slow-drip narcotic of 4th quarter squeaker wins.
If this is unacceptable and you demand more than middle-of-the-road results, refer to solution #1.
#3) Beat your wife and/or kids
just kidding you're not UNC fans
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